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| Welcome to the Jungle |
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Written by Tom "The Mongoo$e" McEwen |
 Faithful readers, return with me to those thrilling days of yesteryear, when the lone Mongoo$e rides again. Sorry friends, I couldn't help myself!
For the last couple of issues, we've gotten away from the format to which you've grown accustomed these past several years, but now we're back and ready to continue our little jaunt down memory lane. Thanks for sticking with me.
Early in 1972 Don Garlits had revolutionized and revitalized Top Fuel racing with his rear-engine dragster. The traditional front-motor cars were fast becoming dinosaurs. Funny Cars had stolen the race fans' hearts and the race promoters' and sponsors' money. Gar' and his new ride reversed that trend.
The earliest examples of this back-engine concept sure didn't show me much. The idea seemed great on paper, but the newly designed cars were evil handling - they wanted to go every which way but straight, which resulted in some real ugly crashes.
From its inception in '71, Garlits' take on this design suffered through the some teething problems. He took plenty of heat from his fellow competitors and almost gave up on the whole idea. But he and his boys, T.C. Lemons and Connie Swingle, kept massaging their new creation.
I watched them week after week, making those changes. Eventually they discovered one of the key missing pieces of this new puzzle-steering ratio. The guys, Don included, were using the same ratios on this new design as they were running on their front-motor cars, which turned out to be way too quick. The change to a slower ratio turned Don's dragster from an ill-handling brute into a smooth driving Cadillac.
Shortly thereafter, at Lions, Don laid down a string of straight passes combined with big numbers, really shocking the troops. That afternoon I ordered a chassis from him.
In late '71 the 215-inch chassis (miniature by today's standards) arrived at my shop in Fountain Valley. The best way I can describe what we discovered after busting open the crate, is, to quote master metal crafter Steve Davis, who was present for the grand opening, "It was brutally functional." Much like a broad sword; it was not a thing of beauty, but it sure hacked people up very efficiently. Gar's design had done the same to its competition.
My crew chief, Robert "Ketchup" Kern (red hair) and I enlisted John Buttera and Steve Davis to assist us in loving it into race-ready condition. Nye Frank, whom I'd known since his involvement in the Albertson Olds Dragster, hammered out the bodywork. If I recall, Don Kirby shot the paint and Kenny Youngblood worked his magic on the graphics and lettering.
Forsaking the Ramchargers, I returned to the "Old Master," Ed Pink, to build the engines for this new project. Ed and I had a long and successful history together, including my tenure with the Yeakel Plymouth Top Fuel Dragster. His engine featured a magnesium Bowers blower, which at the time was some 30 pounds lighter than the aluminum ones I'd been running.
Once completed, I turned my attention to drumming up some magazine ink for my new ride, which brings me to the story of, in my humble opinion, the greatest drag racing magazine, no, make that automotive magazine feature car photo shoot.
Here in SoCal, there was a wild animal park in operation through the '60s and '70s called Lion Country Safari. Basically, it was this giant nature preserve with roads running through it - a zoo without cages. It wasn't far from my place, and I passed it on the way to race at Orange County.
The animals just kind of hung out, doing what animals do, and people drove through, watching them do it. Of course, meat eaters didn't hang out with vegetarians. Nobody wanted little Bobbie Sue or Bubba Jr. to see a pack of lions rip the guts out of a zebra. I was kicking promotional ideas around with my friend Alan Earman, who just happened to be one of the ace drag racing photographers in those days. Was there any way we could take advantage of this animal park for a photo shoot? He was one of the major contributors to Drag Racing USA Magazine, and we were searching for that special hook that would ensure a fat feature in the book. The animal connection could just do the trick.
Our first thought was getting a bunch of real mongooses running around the car. So, Alan got hooked up with the PR guy at Lion Country Safari, John Foxem, to see what we could work out. He thought it would make good press for the park and agreed to work with us.
Unfortunately, they were fresh out of mongooses. I guess a field full of ugly rat-like critters wasn't a big crowd pleaser. Foxem suggested taking advantage of the park's pride of cheetahs, the fastest animal - pure genius! Now, how do we pull it off?
Early one morning, before the park opened to the public (nobody wanted little Bobbie Sue or Bubba Jr. to witness a Mongoo$e getting devoured by hungry jungle cats), we rolled the dragster off the trailer, into the cheetah's home turf. Now what? Every nature show you've ever watched about big cats you see 'em pacing about, ever alert, always on the prowl for their next meal. Well, these bad boys, about a dozen in all, some as close as 25 feet away, were just kinda hangin' out. They had a real SoCal attitude.
A few totally zonked out, some acted like overgrown house cats: licking, scratching, hacking up fur balls - a pack of real laid-back cheetahs. We just looked at each other and shrugged, "What the hey?" The keepers overseeing this little project seemed a little embarrassed, but they had a plan. Out came a couple of chopped up sides of beef, tossed close to the car; it was like chumming for sharks. Suddenly the atmosphere was charged with tension, these tabbies were fast-returning to their true nature, all teeth and claws, guttural growls and snarls. We had quickly turned from curiosities into potential happy meals. I don't mean to be a drama queen, but this was all of a sudden a pretty tense situation. What the hell were we doing here?
After the feeding frenzy subsided tension eased up a bit, but the cats kept cruising around the car, looking for any remaining tidbits.
The keeper who was standing at my side told me to start walking to the car slowly, which I did just like I had good sense. The cheetahs were all around me, and one snarled low in his throat as I inched by.
Getting to the car, I leaned against the slick. One of the cats just sat there, slowly tilting his head from side to side, sizing me up. It wasn't a real comfortable feeling.
Earman, also surrounded by cats, kept his cool, firing off several rolls of film. Fast wearing out our welcome, the keepers circled behind us throwing out more meat. The beasts quickly lost interest in our scrawny butts and headed for the newly laid out buffet. With our hearts finally returning to a fairly normal rhythm, we set the Olympic speed record for loading a race car!
I'm sitting here looking at the article (June '72, Drag Racing USA) while I write this. It was pretty damned amazing stuff; I can't help but believe that it's never been duplicated. With the new car completed, now came the true test. Would it perform to the same level as its twin, the ride that had accomplished so much for Garlits?
Tune in next issue to learn the truth.
Oh, and if any of you had problems ordering our DVD, "Once Upon a Wheel" kindly send a Money Order payable to John Kirchner, P.O. Box 9253, Fountain Valley, CA 92708. We're sorry if your order was delayed. DR
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